Divorce (Star) Wars: The Force Awakens

We live in exciting times. Not only is it the festive holiday season, but TODAY (and for the lucky and more hearty ones, last night) the new Star Wars movie , “The Force Awakens,” hits the big screen. Unbelievably (or, maybe more “believably”) it’s been 10 years since we’ve had a fresh dose of the likes of Luke Skywalker, R2D2, C3PO, Princess Leia, Hans Solo (he was much better as Indiana Jones-just saying) and, of course, the evilest of villains …Darth Vader. Now, I have to confess, I saw the first Star Wars movie when I was a teenager, 39 years ago. I reluctantly attended with my then boyfriend, who was not only enthralled with Star Wars, but was a Trekkie, Hobbit loving, Lord of the Rings kind of guy. That might explain why the relationship didn’t last, but I digress. I think I was also kidnapped into seeing the second Star Wars movie, but after that I lost track, and then lost the boyfriend. Perhaps my lack of enthusiasm for Star Wars comes from the fact that in family law it seems that I am involved in a daily intergalactic battle. The galaxy of family law is wrought with families in chaos who fail to understand that battles between husbands and wives should not be fought with words and a race to see whose lawyer can file the most motions. The wounds inflicted by these words and actions, although not visible, often leave permanent bruises that affect not only the parties, but their children long afterwards. Hey, sort of reminds mes of the light sabers used in Star Wars that can cut, burn and melt through just about anything. If you think I am wrong, just ask some people who have gone through this type of painful divorce (or who have been in a Star Wars movie). Interestingly, I actually read that George Lucas went through a devastating divorce many years ago that left him “penniless.” Now, I’ve not confirmed this information, but it might explain why he keeps bringing Darth Vader back, and why, if you are going through a divorce, you should take that mask off. The term that comes to mind most to me from Star Wars is “The Dark Side.” How about Darth Vader- apparently he went to the Dark Side and only came through when his son (who he’d been battling for a bunch of movies) was on the precipice of destruction. Is that the time a parent wants to “come through” and rescue a child? I hope it is a little earlier, or, more importantly, that the parents’ actions do not bring the child to the brink of destruction. Divorce should not be a battle between good and evil. When parties realize that the relationship is over, it is a time to acknowledge the end, and work with lawyers who do not align themselves with Darth Vader and the Dark Side, (and suck all the money out of the parties in the interim) but look to come up with a resolution. The resolutions are rarely perfect, but resolution allows the parties to move on. Unlike Star Wars, there should not be sequels to a divorce that go on for 39 years. This is what divorce lawyers call an annuity. So my friends, enjoy seeing “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” this holiday season, but stay away from the Dark Side, and during this holiday season and throughout the new year, may the “Force” be with you! Cindy S. Vova Law Office of Cindy S. Vova, P.A. 8551 West Sunrise Blvd., Suite 301 Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33322 info@vovalaw.com 954.316.3496

The Holidays 2015- It's Just Not Right to Fight

Everyone is in the throes of the holiday season. Today is the last day of Hanukkah, and Christmas is a mere 11 days away, followed by the beginning of Kwanzaa the next day It seems that this time of year people are generally a little nicer, a little friendlier and is spite of the weather (ha, ha we live in Florida…the only “in spite” here is that our air conditioners are still blasting almost full force) there is a warmth in the air where smiles are exchanged among strangers, doors are held open for the shopper with arms full of packages, and overall things are a little, if not a lot more pleasant each day. Unfortunately, this season of cheer is often not shared by those going through family breakups, or those who have already gone through them and find a way to use this “season of happiness and cheer” as a “season of crappiness and tears.” In fact, family law practitioners frequently get more calls about “emergency issues” this time of year that most of the rest of the year combined. Not surprisingly, the most prevalent issue is timesharing. This is most common in families that are in the midst of a breakup and a timesharing schedule is not yet established. Still, we see it in situations where there is a timesharing schedule in place and parents decide to just ignore the schedule by not showing up when they are supposed to exchange the children, taking more time than the schedule permits, ignoring the schedule and going off to visit their relatives Oshkosh (or wherever) and failing to send the children off to see the other parent who may live out of the area. So what’s the take-away? STOP!!!!!! Just stop. You are ruining your attorneys’ holidays with your inability to, at least for a few weeks, be nice. Hey, here’s an idea….why don’t you parents out there who insist on turning the holiday season into “open season” (in the hunting sense) and treat the other parent of your children like you treat the stranger with an arm full of packages in Macy’s! Yes, I know it stinks to not be there when your kids wake up Christmas day and start opening the 50 outrageous gifts which will likely be discarded within a year, but really, does life change if you celebrate a day (or a week) before or after December 25th? Even if you miss religious services with your children because it’s not “your year” for Christmas, take them to church on another day. It does not marginalize the take away from attending a service. And Hanukkah, really, you’ve got 8 days and if you celebrate that holiday you know it is truly one of the least significant, from a religious perspective, and Judaism has many more holidays to celebrate. Besides, latkes taste just as good a week before or after Hanukkah as they do during the eight nights. Kwanzaa celebrates “family, community and culture” and you also have eight days to celebrate this joy, which should be enough to share. So all of you single parents out there, whether this is something new this year, or whether you’ve been living with it for many years…take the high road this holiday season. Show your kids the true spirit of the season….set an example, and maybe, just maybe this spirit can carry into the New Year. Happy holidays to all! Cindy S. Vova Law Office of Cindy S. Vova, P.A. 8551 West Sunrise Blvd., Suite 301 Plantation, FL 33322 (954)316-3496 info@vovalaw.com Visit Our Website at: