Households Headed By Single Dads Reach All-Time High

      United States households headed by single fathers now constitute nearly 25 percent of all single families with children.  Accordingly to the Pew Research Center, 2.6 million households in 2011 were headed by single dads, a nine times greater number than 1960, when single dads made up only 300,000 households nationwide. According to the study, single dads are more likely to live with a partner and more likely to be older than single moms.

     So why the rise in single fatherhood?  There may be as many reasons are there are single dads (not really), but some believe that as more women have joined the work force, so have more men taken on more of the responsibilities traditionally assumed by women.   Though this may well be one compelling reason, I believe fathers, over the years, understand that they do have a lot to contribute to children, and this is not limited by biology. To some degree, laws acknowledging that fathers have the same rights as mothers, including time sharing and what we used to call "custody" have also contributed to these statistics.  As I often tell clients waiting to adopt, the biological role of pregnancy and childbirth is the EASY part...it is after the child is born that the tough, never-ending role begins.  

      Although I am not discounting the "motherly instinct" as a biological factor, (witness the mother duck I saw herding her babies out of harms way yesterday with no father duck in sight) I believe that the father's role, whether intuitive or learned, is just as compelling.  Indeed, over my years of practice as a family law attorney I've seen some pretty sorry excuses for mothers.  Luckily, in most of those cases, I also found some very devoted fathers. (and, to be clear,  I've seen the reverse as well).

      So how does this factor into a divorce with children or a paternity case?  Quite simply, a child has a right to have a mother AND a father.  That these parents may not reside in the same household does not negate the necessity of a child learning from two parents and growing from what each has to offer the child.  If you are going through a divorce or a paternity case keep this in mind.  It's not about winning if you have your children for more time than the other parent.  It's about what is best for the children.  Yes, the other parent may do things differently than you do, and you may be convinced you're right.  But, candidly, in the scheme of the child's life, eating take-out versus well balanced organic meals will likely not make a vast difference in your child's life, no more than an occasional missed bath.(unless it's the middle of the summer, but you get the idea). 

     Of course, if there are real issues, such as physical abuse, addiction problems and an inability to provide for the children's basic needs, then that is another situation where timesharing should be restricted.   However, absent these types of situations, if you can remember to keep everything in perspective, and put aside your differences, then it will be easier to work with the other parent and I promise it will be best the for your children.  

Cindy S. Vova
Law Office of Cindy S. Vova, P.A.
8551 West Sunrise Blvd., Suite 301
Plantation, FL 33322
954.316.3496
info@vovalaw.com

Divorce-A Time to Share the Pie, But Not Too Much

 

     During the past few days, as I enter my home each evening, I am met with “stuff” strewn everywhere: towels, pillow, sheets, shorts, shirts, and shoes… lots and lots of shoes.  Yes, my baby is packing up, and heading off to the University of Florida to officially begin her college career next week and join the Gator Nation.

     So, as I reflect back over these past 18 years, I know that she accomplished quite a bit, but inside I feel that I have done so as well.  I have fulfilled one of my personal obligations by ensuring that on the financial side of matters my daughter would have no worries.  Are you asking yet how this relates to family law?  Well, here it comes.

     When I first opened the Law Offices of Cindy S. Vova, P.A. this daughter was not yet born. Her older sister was still an “only child.” My future Gator came along about two years after the firm took on its first client.   As I met with each new client, many with young children themselves, and I explained that there really was no “winning” or “loosing” in divorce, and I wanted to help them achieve a reasonable and fair outcome. I demonstrated this as follows:

   “Here,” I’d say, “is the marital pie.” At this point I drew my rendition of a circle on my yellow legal pad, where my client quickly understood why I pursued law and not art.    Then I would continue: “Now, if I draw a line down the middle of the pie, this represents basically, what the Court is going to give you and what the Court is going to give your spouse.  Of course, again, I doubt my line represented a perfect geometric division, which also explains why I did not delve into a field requiring mathematical ability .                                                                           

    Then I would proceed to use my pencil to “cut off” little slices of the pie on each side, and explain that this is what the attorneys would “eat” from each party’s half of the pie.  I explained that in order to ensure that a client received a fair deal and all issues were addressed in a divorce proceeding, that an attorney’s input and knowledge was invaluable.  “However,” I continued, “the more your spouse and you fight, the more pieces of the pie the attorneys get to eat."

     “So,” I would continue, “do you want to send your children to college or mine?  My children are going regardless, but I intend to get them there by taking little pieces of pie and putting them all together to make my kids’ pie.”

     My pie point was made.  Some clients heeded my advice, and we resolved their cases where most of their piece of pie remaind intact.  Others ignored the advice and had their pies carved up into smaller pieces.  Some clients had spouses, who had lawyers who wanted more of the pie, an unfortunate byproduct of this profession.   Still , all-in-all, when  Dominique DeSantiago, Associate Director of the Fisher School of Accounting,  responded to an email I sent him and said that UF would provide “value for my investment,” I couldn’t help but think that my philosophy in practicing family law provides “values” for my clients' investments.  

       Twenty plus years of helping clients through tough times and  trying to take only small pieces of  the collective pies of many clients has now enabled me to fulfill my parental obligation by sending my second child off to college.  I hope that she also learned by example a few important lessons about values and doing the right thing that cannot be taught in the classroom.  Those are vestiges of my daughter that will remain long after her shoes, short and sheets leave my living room. 

 

 

Six Steps to a Successful Marriage-Keeping It Together

     Last Friday an office colleague celebrated his 32^nd (!) anniversary.  As a professional who spends most of my time listening to the myriad of reasons why couples split up, I thought, why not ask him the secrets to a long term marriage.  So he was kind enough to give me this brief, but oh so important list. I’ve listed these six simple steps below:

                Number 1:          Have open, honest discussions

                Number 2:          Show a willingness to learn/share the other’s interests

                Number 3:          Support your partner’s goals and profession

                Number 4:         Share involvement with both families

                Number 5:          Work to maintain and support each other’s physical and mental well being.

                Number 6:          Always respect each other’s differences of opinions

                                These are steps Bruce and Jim have used to keep their marriage alive.  Yes, Bruce and Jim are a gay couple who, although not “married” according to the laws of the state of Florida, are clearly far more committed to an enduring relationship than the heterosexual couples who come into my office every day. These couples, usually, have far fewer years together, and are willing to call it quits for far more reasons than those that keep Bruce and Jim together.   Another colleague said Bruce should have added a 7^th reason they stay together….no children!  Although those of us in the room blessed with offspring laughed and acknowledged that kids can be a challenge to any relationship, for those who have children, this should be added as another reason to strengthen a marriage.  Surely Bruce and Jim faced challenges that evade heterosexual couples, especially 32 years ago, but they obviously used those challenges to bolster their commitment.  We all know the old adage, that “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” 

     So, before you call it quits and end up in my office or the office of one of my colleagues’, look over the six (or seven, if you have kids) steps to success that Bruce gave me.   If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, mutual respect and understanding between partners keeps the divorce lawyer away.

Cindy S. Vova

The Law Offfice of Cindy S. Vova, P.A.

8551 West Sunrise Boulevard, Suite 301

Plantation, FL 33322

954.316.3496

info@vovalaw.com

Matches Made in Heaven-Meeting on Line

      According to a psychological study, individuals who meet on line have a better chance of a successful marriage than those who meet under other circumstances.  See :http://healthland.time.com/2013/06/03/more-satisfaction-less-divorce-for-people-who-meet-spouses-online/

     With 35 percent of  spouses marrying between 2005 and 2012 initially meeting on line, apparently one can find a partner without even leaving the comforts of home.
Apparently, according to the article, on-line matches were more successful than those beginning at work.  Now, the fact that the study was funded by e-Harmony may have "something" to do with not only the overall results, but the fact that e-Harmony rated high among successful dating sites.

     Of course, the divorce clients I've had who confessed that they met their future ex-spouses on line, always accompanied that comment with eyes rolled upwards.  Now, I'm not knocking on-line dating, but, in spite of poetic prose that may lure one into a new relationship, the bottom line is, in the long run, you have to actually live with the person...not just text and email.   And although my children may have, on occasion, texted me from their rooms when they were too lazy to get up, at least my spouse has not resorted to this method of communication. (Of course, there was no such thing as meeting "on-line" back then so we didn't fall into bad habits).

    Regardless of how you meet a potential new mate, remember this before tying the knot:  get to know the person in person, and consider entering into a prenuptial agreement before you marry. 
Just this week, three people contacted my office inquiring about a prenuptial agreement.  I don't know how these new clients met their future spouses, whether it was on-line, blind date or lifetime friends.  What I do know is, regardless of the initial meeting, they have a better chance for a successful marriage because they communicate!

Cindy Vova
Law Office of Cindy S. Vova, P.A.
8551 West Sunrise Boulevard
Suite 301
Plantation, FL 33322
954.316.3496
info@vovalaw.com
        

BYE-BYE FLORIDA ALIMONY REFORM-UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

Dateline: Tallahassee-  T minus 4 Hours Until Deadline....

     Well, I'd like to say that Florida Governor Rick Scott read my recent blog noting that passage of the Florida Alimony Reform Bill (SB 718) might "help" individual  past, present and potentially future alimony payers, an overall and (presumably) unintended effect would be a future taxation on the state's social welfare system. Essentially, when long-term marriages end and one spouse stayed out of the paying workforce to raise a family, that spouse would be entering (or re-entering ) the workforce at around age 50, and would not accrue enough social security benefits to ever stop working once alimony ended.  That leaves the state to pitch in.

       However, with all the publicity about the details of the bill, I'm sure Mr. Scott was bright enough to see through the "special interests" who vehemently promoted this bill, and tonight he vetoed it just hours before the midnight deadline.

       But wait…it's not over until it's over.   Under Florida law, once the Governor chooses to veto a bill, the Legislature can overturn his veto the next time they meet by a two thirds vote of both chambers.
       What was the initial vote passing the law?  The Senate passed SB 718  by  a 29-11 vote, WAY more than 2/3rds, and the House passed SB by an 85-31 vote, still well over the 2/3rd. Even a lawyer can do that math.

       So, where does that leave alimony in Florida?  For now, the state of alimony remains   with the same changes made over the past few years.  I am not discarding my copy of the bill as of yet.  It will be back.  If it passes by the 2/3rd vote on the next round, I'll pull it out again….at least until someone raises a constitutional challenge. 

Florida Alimony Reform-State Economic Disaster

     Tomorrow is "D-Day." Will Governor Scott veto the Alimony Reform Bill or not? So, for today, rather than summarize and highlight the very scary parts of this bill, I’d rather set out for you a likely scenario in a "typical" case, where, although the bill is beneficial to a potential "permanent alimony payor" in turn, it creates an adverse effect as an economic drain on Florida’s social welfare system.

      Let’s assume Bill and Barbara marry at age 25. For three years Barbara uses her college degree in marketing, and works for a small company. Bill finishes his masters and becomes a CPA, working for an international accounting firm. In the fourth year Bill and Barbara start a family and Billy is born. Bill and Barbara jointly decide Barbara should become a full-time stay at home mom, as Bill is excelling in his career and they don’t need a second income. Moreover, Barbara takes on the role of perfect corporate wife by entertaining in their home and tending to everyday details of the household, freeing up Bill to concentrate on his career. Two years later, little Betsy comes along. Over the next 18 years, Barbara becomes the perfect PTA mom, soccer mom, corporate entertainer and house organizer. Bill is pulling in the big bucks and life is wonderful...until Betsy goes off to college and Bill decides to trade Barbara in for a newer model, just over 25 years after their wedding.

      Barbara is now over 50. She has not worked outside the home in 22 years. Her marketing skills are obsolete. Under the new alimony law here’s the maximum of what Barbara gets in alimony:
*12 ½ years of alimony (half the length of the marriage)
* A maximum of 38% of Bill’s gross income (presumably not bad for those 12 ½ years)      Now, what does Barbara do? At age 50+ it is unlikely she can rehabilitate herself into a new career (and who really has the strength and fortitude to do this at that age?) If she has some sense she will understand that, even though the alimony she receives now may be sufficient (maybe?) It will come to an abrupt end as she nears 63. So she gets a job paying $10 an hour? And she works at about that rate (maybe a little more or less) as she ages and becomes less marketable (affirmative action aside, let’s face it, a young, newly educated person with more longevity is more likely than not to get the job over Barbara). If Barbara is frugal she can "save" a little. If Barbara had her husband take care of all the finances, she might not even have a clue...

      So 12 ½ years go by, and Barbara nears retirement...What do you think she will get from social security with 12 ½ years of wages under her belt (assuming we still have a fund to pay this from)? Answer: not a lot...! Okay, I realize that Barbara can get benefits of up to 50% under her ex-husband’s social security benefits while he is still alive (provided she did not remarry and provided that these benefits would eclipse those she would receive on her own) but he still gets it all.

      What does all this mean? Well, it means there are going to be a lot more people down the road who, as they enter their senior years, can no longer live on what they have available. So guess who is going to foot the bill.... Yup, you got it- our state, which translates into you and me. Glad the legislature can serve those special interests...the sour grape suckers who have no taken their personal financial problems in paying alimony to their former spouses, into a pending statewide tsunami.



・

Florida Alimony Reform Bill on Governor's Desk-Does it Matter?

  Status of Alimony Reform in Florida

   So where does the legislature and, for that matter Governor Scott, stand on the Alimony Reform Bill (Senate Bill 718) at this moment?

Well, in brief, it looks like this:

The Florida House adopted the bill slammed through the Florida Senate +(SB 718)

•   A second engrossed (so they still keep changing the "final" version) was published April 24^th.
•   The bill sits on +Governor Rick Scott’s desk.
•   The Governor must sign or veto the legislation within 15 days of receipt, or it automatically    becomes the law without his signature.

      Now my colleagues tell me ( I was just at a Broward County family law seminar on Fridaya this week is D-Day. So, Governor Scott can sign the bill or sit on his hands. Either way it will become the law unless he vetoes the bill.

     Here’s the rub...even if +Governor Scott has to foresight to see that the Alimony Reform Bill may alleviate a certain class of individuals from these individuals’ personal financial drain, and exercises his veto power, the bill can return to the House and Senate, and with 2/3rds vote, IT AUTOMATICALLY BECOMES LAW!

   Tomorrow I’ll take you through a scenario that the special interest groups ignored, and the legislature failed to contemplate. Specifically, you’ll see how ALL OF US will end up paying the price by transferring economic responsibility from the individual to society. In this instance, really bad economic theory about to become reality in Florida.