On a
recent Saturday night I decided to try a relatively new restaurant in the
Broward Mall…oh, excuse me, that’s Westfield
Broward (sorry, old habits die hard…it was only renamed about seven years
ago). The establishment is called The Whole Enchilada, a Mexican-style
casual eatery with tacos, burritos, quesadillas and, you guessed it,
enchiladas.
So
while my husband was up ordering our dinners (hey, it was the weekend…and I
needed a break), I decided to read the rest of the menu. Understand that I read anything and
everything. Yes, I was the kid who read
the cereal boxes in my youth and, as I said earlier, old habits die hard. Lo and behold, what did I find as a double
star entrée on the back page? Glad you asked, because you were probably
wondering at this point what The Whole
Enchilada has to do with a family law blog. Well, a featured menu item is none other than
THE EX-WIFE. The description, taken
verbatim, is as follows:
“Because it seemed like a good idea at the
time…”
Those willing to take on the ex-wife
challenge will have 45 minutes during one sitting to complete the entire
burrito and all of its accompaniments. If
successful-it’s free and you will receive a TWE shirt and a forever gift of
remembrance at The Whole Enchilada Fresh Mexican Grill.
The $39.99 entrée is:
A combined 6 pounds of Mexican Rice, black or
pinto beans, jack and cheddar cheese, salsa, guacamole,
lettuce and sour cream with your choice of charbroiled chicken, ground beef,
pork or tofu along with a healthy side
of chips.
Steak, Shrimp or Mahi Mahi (and,
as the immortal Dave Barry says…I am NOT making this up) add $8.00.
Okay,
besides the obvious “this is so gross just reading it makes me want to…..” one
wonders (or at least I did), why this entrée is called THE EX-WIFE. And whose “good idea at the time” was it? Was
it the “good idea’ of the person who named it? Or are they referring to the
thought process of the prospective patron who actually orders this massive
remembrance of a prior wife and decides that, regardless of the free t-shirt he
simply cannot finish it? And, more significantly, why not THE EX-HUSBAND? And regardless, did the inventor chose this
combination of ingredients because he had a fat ex-wife? Because she was gross?
Because she would always order the more expensive menu item (8 bucks more for
steak, shrimp or mahi)? Or was it simply because he had a little too many tequila
shots the night he penned the menu.
In
reality, I think it’s a little sexist to call this item THE EX WIFE. Let’s be fair here. As a divorce and family
law attorney who represents husbands and wives,
and, consequently, helps these folks attain the status of “Ex” husband and wife,
I think it is only fair that TWE (it’s shorthand for The Whole Enchilada)
should have a parallel entrée called THE EX HUSBAND. Except
instead of filling a burrito with the aforementioned ingredients, perhaps it
should be filled with “the hundreds of meals made for him, the tons of laundry
washed for him, the several times he forgot her birthday, anniversary, etc.,
and, a whole bunch of other crap that the individual restaurant patron gets to
select from the restaurant’s Ex Bar. Yes, I am kidding, they do not have an ex bar.
In reality, I am sure that many ex husbands could fill their burritos
with an equally unappetizing list of ingredients.
I had
contemplated contacting the company directly to inquire about the choice of
name for its signature kitschy item, but I figured maybe I’d send them a copy
of this and see if they decide to reply.
Still
regardless of the innovation or motivation for this menu item, wouldn’t it be
much nicer if the Ex Wife (or, if they go with my suggestion, Ex Husband) was a
dessert item? I mean, who doesn’t love
dessert.
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