Looking on the Bright Side...Divorce Aphorism for the Day

   Almost daily I find myself listening to a client who is having a difficult time dealing with the loss that inevitably accompanies a divorce.  In trying to comfort these clients, I sometimes find myself also at a loss in finding the right words of consolation.
   So, my search lead me to words from, perhaps an unlikely source, but nonetheless, these are the words of the beautiful Eva Longoria who, in spite of her gorgeous appearance, professional and financial success, also knows the pain of love loss, but approaches it with a healthy view.  Here goes:
                 "One thing I did learn is you don't hold on to the bitterness of the loss;
                    you hand on to the beauty of the love." 


    What a wonderful was to move on.


    More divorce aphorisms to come in the future.






See more on my websitewww.vovalaw.com


  

Why If Florida Same Sex Couples Marry in Haste They May Repent in Leisure

    

                 FINALLY!!!!  Barring any legal maneuvering that is not anticipated, same sex couples will be able to “tie the knot” once the clerks of Florida’s counties begin issuing marriage licenses. 

                Just for a brief legal background (if you are interested) a number of circuit court judges throughout the state had already ruled that Florida’s law banning gay marriages was unconstitutional. These judges include Miami-Dade Circuit Court Judge Sarah Zabel, who last July ruled in favor of six same-sex couples who sued a year ago to have the Miami-Dade Clerk issues them marriage licenses, and Broward Circuit Court Judge Dale Cohen, who ruled in August that Florida’s gay marriage ban was unconstitutional, and last month granted the first divorce to a Florida same sex couple who were married in another state.   However, a series of legal maneuvers stayed (legal for “stopped”) the judges’ ruling from actually taking effect pending a ruling from Federal Judge Robert Hinkle.  Although Judge Hinkle had already ruled Florida’s ban unconstitutional, he stayed (again) that ruling from taking effect until the state of Florida had exhausted its right to appeal the decision.

                According to Judge Hinkle, time’s up, and all clerks may issues marriage licenses to same sex couples as of 12:00 midnight on Tuesday, January 6, 2015. Media reports indicate that certain clerks’ offices and other authorities plan to preside over large same sex weddings that very same day…some as early as 3:00 a.m.!

                Now here’s the rub.  I know these ruling are long past due, and same sex couples are eager to share in the same benefits that married heterosexual couples enjoy.  But what these anxious couples may not be considering is that, in spite of the many benefits of marriage, so too are there enormous burdens.  Someone once told me that one who marries in haste repents in leisure.  Ask anyone who has gone through a divorce, and I think they will agree

                 Fortunately, even among the six couples who sued last year in Miami-Dade, according to an article in the Sun Sentinel, only one couple plans to move quickly and marry.   

                So, what does time give to these couples who have been legally barred from enjoying wedded bliss?  Well, it gives them time to consider a prenuptial agreement.  If you review some of my previous blogs about prenuptial agreements, you will see that they do not only address the “what ifs” of divorce, but many other issues that, if discussed and resolved in advance, may help create a happier union.

              Over my next series of blogs, I will point out many of those potential burdens and why a prenuptial agreement may be the first thing to plan before the wedding.   It will be worth the wait!


    The Law Office of Cindy S. Vova, P.A. in  Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, provides compassionate and caring legal advice to all  families we represent.  We welcome all the new "legal" families to Florida and look forward to serving you.  Please see our website by clicking the attached link to learn more about our firm. 
     www.vovalaw.com

T'was the Night Before Christmas...look who shows up this time!

     In keeping with the holiday season, I thought I'd use a little artistic license in reworking Clement Clarke Moore's poem, that, by the way, is actually originally titled "A Visit from St. Nicholas." This was originally penned for a business group I attend, but, at my staff's urging, I've incorporated it as my latest blog.  Although clearly meant to elicit a smile, there is a message in it that transcends the holidays….divorce can be peaceful.  I hope that's one holiday message you take to heart!


T'was the night before X-Mas and all through the house,
There was a lot of fighting among many a spouse.


Momma was locked in a fearful stare
Hoping the police soon would be there.


The children were nestled all snug in their bed,
While dad threw something at momma's head.


For the Jews it was a latka, for the Christian it was beer,
That was their meaning of holiday cheer.


When out from the roof they heard a great clatter
Why it's family law atty Cindy Vova arriving and looking much fatter.


Quicker than "briefs" her staff they came
As she whistled and shouted and called them by name:


On Vicki and Helvi and of course Helena
We gotta fix this before things get any "meana"


With a briefcase full of books and memos of law
I listened as she read the list of them all:


Injunction, alimony and equitable distribution,
child support a parenting plan...I have a solution.


Yes the resolution to your marital consternation
Is to send you both quickly to mediation!


And all of the sudden on that X-Mas eve
Those two realized they could settle before she would leave


And as quick as she came, she fled from the site.
Merry X-mas Happy Hanukkah to all and to all a good night


Amazed the couple watched as she continued with her journey
And all they could say is "that's one hell of an attorney!"


Whatever your beliefs, however you celebrate, on behalf of my office, I wish everyone peace, prosperity and happiness in the new year!


www.vovalaw.com

Cohabitation Agreements-The Gap Between No Commitment and Marriage

 

                One of the first things I ask when meeting with a new client contemplating divorce is the date of marriage.  What I often hear in response is, “Well we’ve been married ___ years (fill in the blank, it is usually under five) but we lived together for 10 years (or fill in the blank) before that.

                So I’m thinking, thanks for the information, but as it pertains to your rights and responsibilities in a divorce in Florida, it is not really relevant. You see, Florida is not one of the states that recognize common law marriage, at least not since 1968, when it was outlawed.[1]  Common law marriage, in those states that still recognize it,[2] essentially establishes that a man and woman who lived together and, for all intents and purposes, held themselves out as husband and wife, for a certain number of years (requirements vary by state) are deemed married as if they went through the legal formalities associated with nuptials.

                Well, let’s suppose that you are one of those folks who live in a committed (we hope) relationship but one or both of you do not wish to get that “piece of paper.”  Fair enough, but since you don’t want to even see the end of the (marriage) aisle, you probably are not looking down the real road either.  Here’s my suggestion….take a look.  And here’s my solution: a cohabitation agreement. 

                “What’s a ‘cohabitation agreement?’” you ask.  Glad you inquired.  Essentially, a cohabitation agreement, also sometimes referred to as a “domestic partnership agreement,” is a binding contract between two people that sets forth rights and obligations of the partners, particularly if there is a break-up down that proverbial road.  And while we are at it, these agreements are not only for a man and women living together, but also for (and more commonly used by) same sex couples who (don’t get me started) are still unable to legally marry in many (Florida) states.

                Some of the issues that can be addressed in a cohabitation agreement are:

                -division of joint debts, regardless of whose name the debt was incurred

                -who keeps the apartment lease, or the house purchased in only one name (but paid for  by the other or both)

                -who keeps (and pays for the car) that is jointly titled

                -what happens to the pets

                -does the inferior earning partner get any financial assistance if the couple splits (or just a swift kick out the front door-don’t laugh, I’ve seen it happen and without this agreement there is      typically no legal remedy)             

      Such an agreement may also include preparation of a health care surrogate form giving legal authority to one’s partner to make medical decisions on the other’s behalf in the event of an emergency, because, guess what, without it, no matter how many years you’ve lived as a couple, the partner has no legal right to do so.

   Some Florida counties, Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach included, permit couples to register as domestic partners by filling out a simple form and filing it in the county of residency.  You can find Broward’s registry form at: http://www.broward.org/RECORDSTAXESTREASURY/RECORDS/Pages/DomesticPartnershipInformation.aspx

However, as of March 2013, 60 Florida counties had no domestic partnership registry.  Even with the registry, absent a well crafted document by a knowledgeable family law attorney, some of the other areas addressed above are, well, still not addressed.

                So, if two people care enough about each other to be together day in and day out, they should care enough about each other to commit enough to put a few things down on paper.  And if not….maybe it’s time to get out now, before it’s too late.

 

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[1] If you’re really interested (and have nothing else to keep you entertained, here’s a link for a list of states that recognize common law marriage or some derivation of it:  http://www.ncsl.org/research/human-services/common-law-marriage.aspx

[2] it may be relevant if the parties had a lawful common law marriage in a state that recognizes common law marriage and then moved to Florida and wanted to divorce, but I digress)

Want to find out more about "non-marriage options" Visit our website at www.vovalaw.com

Happy Holidays from Florida Law. The Gift that Keeps on Giving!!

  With the holiday season in full swing (yes, we all saw the Christmas displays in the department stores BEFORE Halloween), most of us are busy trying to get our shopping done, and find just the right gift for those on our list. So, when I read a recent case, I couldn’t help but think that this husband found the perfect gift. Not only could his wife (now ex wife) not take it back or exchange it, but she could re-gift it over and over and over.


  The case, recently decided by 4 District Court of Appeals is Kohl v. Koh.  Mrs. Kohl filed for divorce and also filed for damages resulting from assault by way of the transmission of HPV.


   The trial court, and thereafter, the appellate court dismissed Mrs. Kohl’s request for damages from the sexually transmitted disease. Notwithstanding that Mrs. Kohl alleged that her (now ex) husband "engaged in extra-marital affairs and hired multiple prostitutes and escorts during the course of their marriage," that just was not enough to pursue a suit against him.


   In fairness to the trial judge and the 4th District Court judges, they were only following Florida law (which…shout out there—that’s what the judges are supposed to do.) The law of this fair state requires that a party asking a court to recover damages as a result of getting a sexually transmitted disease from anyone (not just a spouse) must allege that the offending individual had actual knowledge that he/she "was infected with one of the sexual diseases set forth in Section 384.24, Florida Statute," and he/she "was informed that the disease could be communicated through sexual intercourse."


  So, apparently, when Mrs. Kohl found out her husband was fooling around, before she slept with her husband, she had a duty to inquire 1) whether he had knowledge he was infected with an STD and 2) whether he had he been informed that he could pass this on as the gift that keeps on giving.


  Because, I am sure that anytime one uses an escort service the first thing the escort tells her "customer" is that she has an STD, and thereafter, rather than fleeing, the customer then responds, "Oh, well, could you tell me whether your STD can be passed on to me and my wife back at home?" Are YOU kidding?


  Interestingly, the way the statute is drafted, it seems that a spouse (and, actually, anyone engaging in sex with another) would have a duty to inquire each and every time he/she engages in sex with his/her spouse because, if not, then the burden is on the gift recipient to allege (and later prove) that his/her lying, cheating spouse knew of the infection and, further, was informed (by who?) that it was transmissible through sex. Sort of kills the romance, doesn’t it? And as for the gift that keeps on giving, maybe she should have asked for a gift card instead. Visit Our Webpage for More Information

The Last Five of the Top 10 Things to Consider before Filing for Divorce

                So, I know you’ve been at the edge of your seat waiting to find out what the bottom five of the top 10 things are to consider before filing for divorce.  Here, for your contemplation, is the rest of the list.

6.            Get organized.  Surely, this helpful tip should not be confined to people considering divorce.  This is just good life advice. However, as this applies to divorce, this means getting all of your financial documents in order including pay stubs, tax returns, bank statements, brokerage account statements, information regarding real estate, credit card bills, loans, including mortgages, etc.  Now, if you do not know where to find these (because, as I often hear, “my spouse took care of all of this,”) now might be a good time to either “look harder” or ask some questions. If your spouse asks why, all of the sudden, you want this information, you can gently inform him/her that if he/she died tomorrow you’d not even know where to begin to look. (That person may advise that he/she has no intention of dying any time soon, and you might gently persuade them otherwise).  If you have a family accountant, you can also contact this person because, if you file joint taxes, that accountant is also your accountant and he/she has an obligation to provide you (the client) with information.  Equally as important is organizing the information for your attorney. Our office is happy to do it for you, but the more of the “easier” stuff you can do, the more time we have to do the “hard’ stuff, and that’s why you are hiring us to being with.

7.            Close joint accounts.  Okay, so that’s why these tips originally came from the financial analysts and not the attorneys.  There are times when this is good advice.  However, it all depends on the circumstances and the best thing to do is, in advance of taking this action, speak with a family law attorney so you can give the attorney all the facts of your particular situation and the attorney can give you sound legal advice.

8.            How’s your credit?  Do you even know?  Once yearly you can obtain, free of charge, your credit report from Experian, Equifax and Transunion, the three major credit reporting agencies. If it’s not-so-good, you might want to try to improve that before the divorce.  Once divorced, without good credit, it may be difficult to rent an apartment, obtain a credit card or, among others, get a car loan.   Bring your credit reports with you when you go to an initial consultation with an attorney.  If you don’t have a credit card in your own name, try getting one now before you file, even if the credit line is small.

9.            Hire the right team.  I LIKE the advice from the Institute on this one.  “Your attorney is not your therapist, and it will become very costly for you if you treat them this way.” I truly believe I practice family law with a heart. However, I have a BBA, an MBA and JD, NOT a PhD in psychology (not even an undergrad minor).  So although I care deeply about all of my clients, any therapeutic advice I give is solely from my years of hearing stories and not from any formal training.  Now on the other hand, in hiring the right legal team, don’t always look for the meanest and “sharkiest.” Time is money and the more you spend on vengeful fighting, the less you end up with and the more your attorney takes, (and yes, P.S, I’m still in the same house after 21 years, so that’s obviously not happening in my office) See, I can give some good therapeutic advice, after all.

10.          Take time for you.  Advice we should all live by.  And with that said, I’m off to the gym.         

 

See more about the Law Office of Cindy S. Vova, P.A.

DIVORCE CORP....THE CONFERENCE THIS WEEKEND!

            So, it’s been quite a few months since my blog about Divorce Corp., The Movie.   It seems, however, that this documentary, which has done for the practice of divorce law what Reefer Madness did for marijuana, was such an astounding hit that the film’s director has found a way to continue profiting from the documentary’s success.

                Indeed, ladies and gentlemen (but let’s face it, mostly gentlemen), this coming weekend you have the opportunity to attend the Divorce Corp. conference in Alexandria, Virginia, just a stone’s throw across the Potomac to our nation’s capital.

                Yes, starting this coming Saturday, November 15^th, through Sunday, November 16^th, you and like-minded concerned citizens can, for the low price of $199.00[i] can hear seminars on the following (and I took this from the website) topics 

·         Child Support – Who Benefits? ·         The Constitutional rights of Parents ·         Do Our Family Laws Reconcile With Modern Social Trends? ·         The Impact of Domestic Violence and Parental Alienation on Custody ·         Mediation vs. Litigation for Family Law Matters ·         Are Family Courts the New Mafia?

·         RICO Suits Against the State Courts ·         Equal Parenting ·         The Science Behind Primary vs. Shared Custody ·         Alimony Reform Success ·         Revising Child Support Guidelines ·         Judicial Elections and Their Impact on Judicial Independence

            I would particularly like to hear the seminar on “Are Family Courts the New Mafia.”  I mean, heck, in Broward County, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida we only have one Italian family law judge so what’s up?  I would also like to hear the “RICO Suits Against the State Courts” seminar.  “RICO” stands for Racketeering and Corrupt Organizations" Act, a law designed to invoke criminal penalties  as well as a civil cause of action against entities engaged in ongoing criminal enterprises.  Hey, are they picking on the Italian judges again? 

 

         Well, there’s still time to register.  I bet they’ll even take walk-ins.  It’s at the Westin Alexandria, located at (I’m not making this up) 400 Courthouse Square.  How fitting.

 

            Seriously, our entire legal system is living and breathing.  Otherwise, how do we, in modern society, base our laws on a document that is over 230 years old?  I do not believe that the family law courts are  immune from the need for some changes as well.  But, as with anything else, when the changes are pushed from vigilantes, the changes are never designed to serve all people.

 

            I hope the attendees get something towards positive changes.  From the seminar topics I have my doubts.  One thing, their wallets will be at least $199 lighter.  But this IS America, and everyone is entitled to make a living, even lawyers.

 

            As for me, I’ll be at the University of Florida visiting my daughter and watching the Gators play the South Carolina Gamecocks (nice name).

 

 

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[i] It was $99 before September 1^st…sorry-I missed the update

Learn more about the Law Offices of Cindy S. Vova, P.A.

A Family Law Firm with a Heart

Visit our website:

www.vovalaw.com