The Last Five of the Top 10 Things to Consider before Filing for Divorce

                So, I know you’ve been at the edge of your seat waiting to find out what the bottom five of the top 10 things are to consider before filing for divorce.  Here, for your contemplation, is the rest of the list.

6.            Get organized.  Surely, this helpful tip should not be confined to people considering divorce.  This is just good life advice. However, as this applies to divorce, this means getting all of your financial documents in order including pay stubs, tax returns, bank statements, brokerage account statements, information regarding real estate, credit card bills, loans, including mortgages, etc.  Now, if you do not know where to find these (because, as I often hear, “my spouse took care of all of this,”) now might be a good time to either “look harder” or ask some questions. If your spouse asks why, all of the sudden, you want this information, you can gently inform him/her that if he/she died tomorrow you’d not even know where to begin to look. (That person may advise that he/she has no intention of dying any time soon, and you might gently persuade them otherwise).  If you have a family accountant, you can also contact this person because, if you file joint taxes, that accountant is also your accountant and he/she has an obligation to provide you (the client) with information.  Equally as important is organizing the information for your attorney. Our office is happy to do it for you, but the more of the “easier” stuff you can do, the more time we have to do the “hard’ stuff, and that’s why you are hiring us to being with.

7.            Close joint accounts.  Okay, so that’s why these tips originally came from the financial analysts and not the attorneys.  There are times when this is good advice.  However, it all depends on the circumstances and the best thing to do is, in advance of taking this action, speak with a family law attorney so you can give the attorney all the facts of your particular situation and the attorney can give you sound legal advice.

8.            How’s your credit?  Do you even know?  Once yearly you can obtain, free of charge, your credit report from Experian, Equifax and Transunion, the three major credit reporting agencies. If it’s not-so-good, you might want to try to improve that before the divorce.  Once divorced, without good credit, it may be difficult to rent an apartment, obtain a credit card or, among others, get a car loan.   Bring your credit reports with you when you go to an initial consultation with an attorney.  If you don’t have a credit card in your own name, try getting one now before you file, even if the credit line is small.

9.            Hire the right team.  I LIKE the advice from the Institute on this one.  “Your attorney is not your therapist, and it will become very costly for you if you treat them this way.” I truly believe I practice family law with a heart. However, I have a BBA, an MBA and JD, NOT a PhD in psychology (not even an undergrad minor).  So although I care deeply about all of my clients, any therapeutic advice I give is solely from my years of hearing stories and not from any formal training.  Now on the other hand, in hiring the right legal team, don’t always look for the meanest and “sharkiest.” Time is money and the more you spend on vengeful fighting, the less you end up with and the more your attorney takes, (and yes, P.S, I’m still in the same house after 21 years, so that’s obviously not happening in my office) See, I can give some good therapeutic advice, after all.

10.          Take time for you.  Advice we should all live by.  And with that said, I’m off to the gym.         

 

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DIVORCE CORP....THE CONFERENCE THIS WEEKEND!

            So, it’s been quite a few months since my blog about Divorce Corp., The Movie.   It seems, however, that this documentary, which has done for the practice of divorce law what Reefer Madness did for marijuana, was such an astounding hit that the film’s director has found a way to continue profiting from the documentary’s success.

                Indeed, ladies and gentlemen (but let’s face it, mostly gentlemen), this coming weekend you have the opportunity to attend the Divorce Corp. conference in Alexandria, Virginia, just a stone’s throw across the Potomac to our nation’s capital.

                Yes, starting this coming Saturday, November 15^th, through Sunday, November 16^th, you and like-minded concerned citizens can, for the low price of $199.00[i] can hear seminars on the following (and I took this from the website) topics 

·         Child Support – Who Benefits? ·         The Constitutional rights of Parents ·         Do Our Family Laws Reconcile With Modern Social Trends? ·         The Impact of Domestic Violence and Parental Alienation on Custody ·         Mediation vs. Litigation for Family Law Matters ·         Are Family Courts the New Mafia?

·         RICO Suits Against the State Courts ·         Equal Parenting ·         The Science Behind Primary vs. Shared Custody ·         Alimony Reform Success ·         Revising Child Support Guidelines ·         Judicial Elections and Their Impact on Judicial Independence

            I would particularly like to hear the seminar on “Are Family Courts the New Mafia.”  I mean, heck, in Broward County, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida we only have one Italian family law judge so what’s up?  I would also like to hear the “RICO Suits Against the State Courts” seminar.  “RICO” stands for Racketeering and Corrupt Organizations" Act, a law designed to invoke criminal penalties  as well as a civil cause of action against entities engaged in ongoing criminal enterprises.  Hey, are they picking on the Italian judges again? 

 

         Well, there’s still time to register.  I bet they’ll even take walk-ins.  It’s at the Westin Alexandria, located at (I’m not making this up) 400 Courthouse Square.  How fitting.

 

            Seriously, our entire legal system is living and breathing.  Otherwise, how do we, in modern society, base our laws on a document that is over 230 years old?  I do not believe that the family law courts are  immune from the need for some changes as well.  But, as with anything else, when the changes are pushed from vigilantes, the changes are never designed to serve all people.

 

            I hope the attendees get something towards positive changes.  From the seminar topics I have my doubts.  One thing, their wallets will be at least $199 lighter.  But this IS America, and everyone is entitled to make a living, even lawyers.

 

            As for me, I’ll be at the University of Florida visiting my daughter and watching the Gators play the South Carolina Gamecocks (nice name).

 

 

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[i] It was $99 before September 1^st…sorry-I missed the update

Learn more about the Law Offices of Cindy S. Vova, P.A.

A Family Law Firm with a Heart

Visit our website:

www.vovalaw.com

TOP 10 THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE FILING FOR DIVORCE(But this Blog has Only the First Five)

As a family law attorney who has now been admitted to the Georgia and Florida Bars for over 30 years (!), I managed to, unwittingly, get on what seems to be every mailing list relating to divorce and family.  So when I received the Financial Analyst¸ published by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts, I was drawn to an article entitled Ten Things to Consider Before Filing for Divorce.

             Here, ladies and gentlemen, are the first “five things” to consider, per that article, with my “spin” on them.  You’ll have to wait for the follow up blog for the next five: 

1. Are you sure?  You darn well better be, because this is playing for not keeps in this game.  The first thing I ask prospective clients (unless they are subject to mental or physical domestic violence…in which case I say run!) is whether they tried counseling.  In their best case, they are able to work things out with their spouses and I lose a client (in which case they hopefully send me a neighbor who can’t work it out), and in the worst case, five years after the divorce they won’t ponder if they did everything to save the marriage and be burdened with that self doubt.
2. Do your research.  If this means checking up on an attorney you are contemplating hiring, by all means.  If this means asking for free consultations with ten attorneys, please don’t call my office.  As an attorney, the only “thing” I have to sell you is my time and knowledge.  As such, please do not expect an attorney to give you all the free advice you need to become a “do it yourselfer.”  Go to Home Depot for that.  Second, if your “research” is telling me what your friend, who is divorced, says the law is for your case, please go hire your friend as your counsel.  Besides the fact that (absent if the friend is a member of the Florida Bar) the unlicensed practice of law potentially subjects a person to a civil injunction or, in more extreme cases, indirect criminal contempt, you will get what you pay for…nothing.
3.  Set your goals.   If this means how you are going to go it alone after the divorce, yes, this is a good thing to think about. If, on the other hand, it means “how can I suck every last nickel out of my spouse, make my spouse’s life miserable, say such horrible things to my kids that they will end up hating both parents, then these are goals I will not help you achieve.  Though you may be angry and/or hurt in the beginning (understandable) not only are these bad goals, but they will drain a substantial amount of money from the marital pot into the lawyers’ coffers.  If you still want to do this, message me separately.  I can surely provide you with a long list of my colleagues who will be more than happy to take more of your money than is necessary.  I, however, am not one of those attorneys.
4. Keeping the home?  Yes, something you have to contemplate.  I read once, and tell my clients, that you can fit as much love in a little home as you can in a big house. Don’t convince yourself that your kids need to stay in the house if financially that is not a good move. Children are much more adaptable than we think.  Remember, two households (and that’s what will exist after the divorce) cannot live as economically as one household.  Don’t let emotions overcome practicality. (This from one whose parents sold her house when in her first year of law school and didn’t leave forwarding address…just kidding about the latter)
5. Consider custody.  Yes, that’s definitely a good idea of you have children.  (as opposed to putting them in foster care?)  By the way, divorce law in Florida has done away with “custody.”  We have “time sharing,” which is really a better description.  Parents should share time, not possess a child. But really, do you want ALL the time with your children?(because you never need any “down” time for yourself and want to be responsible for them 24/7)  Are you demanding more time so you can reduce your child support? (and then you will have them more and it will cost you even more to feed them) Will this “show” your soon to be ex that you are the better parent? (and where is the reality show that awards that trophy?)  In other words, stop thinking about what is good for you and really take a look at what will be best for your children. Remember…your children are entitled to both a mother and a father, even if they don’t live in the same house!
    
   Hang tight….then next five will be here soon.